A Lawyer’s Christmas (amercianised legal humour)

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From me (hereinafter called the "Wishor") to you (hereinafter called the"Wishee"),  please accept without obligation, implied or implicit, our best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, politically correct, low stress, non addictive, gender neutral, celebration of summer solstice holiday, practiced with the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious or secular persuasions or traditions of others,or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all, and a financially successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calender year 2013, but with due respect for the calenders of choice of other cultures or sects, and having regard to the race, creed, colour, age, physical ability, religious faith, choice of computer platform or dietary preference of the Wishee.

By accepting this greeting you are bound by these terms that this Greeting:

  1. Is subject to further clarification or withdrawal;
  2. Is freely transferable provided that no alteration shall be made to the original greeting and that the proprietary rights of the Wishor are acknowledged;
  3. Implies no promise by the Wishor to actually implement any of the wishes;
  4. May not be enforcable in certain jurisdictions or the restrictions herein may not be binding upon certain wishees in certain jurisdictions and is revocable at the sole discretion of the Wishor;
  5. Is warranted to perform as reasonably may be expected within the usual application of good tidings, for a period of one year or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting whichever comes first.
  6. The Wishor warrants this greeting only for the limited replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the Wishor;
  7. Any reference in this greeting to a or the Lord, a Father Christmas, Our or My or Your Saviour of the Saviiour of others, or any other festive figures, whether actual or ficticious, dead or alive, or everlasting or omnipresent, shall not imply any endorsement by or from them in respect of this greeting, and all proprietary rights in any referred third party names and images except that of God and his Son, are hereby acknowledged.